it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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