the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize