New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize