dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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