So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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