my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
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