I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize