so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize