come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
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Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
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Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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