We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize