I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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