you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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