remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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