My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
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In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
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Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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