Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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