I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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