I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
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Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He has the fingertips of a God
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