can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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