I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Dick very happy bro
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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