I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize