Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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