allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
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This is the prime rib incident all over again
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
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They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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