So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize