Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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