So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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