Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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