can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
do herpes really smell.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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