I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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