Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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