My sheets look like a crime scene.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
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Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
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You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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