I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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