I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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