so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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