i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize