I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize