We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
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Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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