i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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