Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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