You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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