it was like his penis was on wheels.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize