Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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