I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize