Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize