She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
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A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I forgot wine drunk hurts
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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