yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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