If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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