Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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