I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize