I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize