Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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